And by that I mean, sometimes you show up at the airport and find out that your flight was the day before. Well, I exaggerate. We found out much earlier than when we got to the airport because living in Orcas, it takes about 5-6 hours to get to the airport since we were traveling by ferry and bus.
And when this happens, you might have fears that you never knew were there come up. Ok, I’m going to be honest, I knew the fears were there, I just stuffed them down as deep as I could hoping they wouldn’t come out.
Well they did.
So here’s the story. And it’s a good one.
We’re super excited for our trip of course. Getting the house ready for us being gone for 3 months (it’s a cabin on an island in Washington and there was a lot for us to do). Stratton was having momentary fleeting regrets as we would go about our days because we love the comfort of our home and the comfort of our vehicle (we have a great truck that we love doing road trips in and when we come back in January we will do a roadtrip around the Pacific Northwest and Canada). I would ease his anxiety about going out 1) couchsurfing (which we are choosing to do this trip because we really want o meet people) and 2) being away from home so long (he has never been away from a home base for longer than a couple weeks – pretty much when we went to the Maldives).
By a couple days before the trip, his anxiety had been replaced by a lot of excitement as we were excited to get traveling, seeing the world, meeting people, growing our business, and blogging along the way. So he was good. I was good.
Or so I thought.
We are loading on to the ferry and standing in line. We had just finished a conversation about being curious why we never got a confirmation from the travel agent we booked through (JustFly) that our flight was coming up or an email from Icelandair telling us we can now check-in. I turned to Stratton and with a big smile on my face, I said “NOW our adventure is starting,” because he always said our adventure won’t begin until we are enroute.
He smiled and said, “Well, not quite, I’ll feel like its starting once we’re on the plane.” At this point, he had no idea what was coming next, but something inside of him was alerting him that danger was ahead.
We boarded the ferry, got a nice little seat next to the window (it was a Tuesday in the fall, they weren’t hard to come by) and Stratton called the booking company. I hear him say something along the lines of,”Yesterday????” with a worried look on his face. I still had no idea what he meant by that until he looked at me and told me our flight was yesterday.
What?….. no seriously….. WHAT?!?!?!
I didn’t panic yet. Surely they’d be able to just get us on the flight today. Why wouldn’t they be able to do that for us. Its not like we meant to miss our flight. We are showing up on time to the flight we thought we were taking! No big deal. Right….. right????
No. Its kind of a big deal when you don’t even show up for your flight.
Then thoughts came flooding into my head. Fears, really.
We shouldn’t have done this anyway. I don’t know how I’m going to feel as I get more pregnant and thus bigger. I want to be comfortable, we have no idea where we will be staying. Gosh, I love our truck Wouldn’t it just be nice if we could jump in the truck with all our pillows and comforters and big sleeping bags and all the gear we need and start our road trip now? This was a mistake. We shouldn’t be going all the way over there when I’m pregnant. I have no idea what its going to be like. If they’re going to make us eat the money, then we should cut our losses and do the roadtrip. Not even go. We should change our plans.
We should definitely change our plans.
I was already planning the blog post in my head. “So sometimes plans change….” I was picturing us in the truck. Nice and comfortable. Heated seats. All our pillows. Close to home if we needed it. Still traveling, seeing cool things, meeting tons of people, but different. Felt like less of a risk.
I was afraid to tell Stratton. I had been the one pushing this trip and saying everything was going to be ok, reassuring him for weeks. Was he going to be mad at me?
I of course started crying. Hey! I’m pregnant. Pregnant people can cry whenever they want and this seemed like a very appropriate time. I told Stratton about what I was thinking. There was this big part of me that still wanted to go. To bite the bullet, pay the money and do it. That part was probably bigger than the fear.
But you know how fear is. It can consume you. I was trying to remember my “Why not?” post. A post that I have gotten a lot of feedback about and it has inspired many people to think differently about their lives and their plans. A post that I meant every word of, but here I was trying to ask myself “Why not?” and I was coming up with a ton of answers to it. How could I not practice what I preach?
We were still at the ferry landing. All we had to do was wait for the next ferry going back to Orcas Island and we’d be fine. I was staring at this young seal that was sunning itself on a rock. It was so peaceful. This little seal had no cares in the world. He would go for it wouldn’t he? It gave me a lot of hope while I was on hold with a lady from JustFly. I was hoping that someone would care. Just knowing that something good was going to happen. Surely we aren’t just some names in a database. Someone has to care about us.
Trust me, when things like this happen, no one cares.
The bus to the airport came. I was still on the phone with the lady. Pleading her to care. Hey, I know we made a mistake. Totally. It was our fault. We completely dropped the ball. We didn’t show up for our flight! Who does that?! I know we messed up. But PLEASE care!!
She didn’t. And neither did IcelandAir. That’s a whole different story, but the fact remains, that no one cared. There was no way we could get any type of reimbursement towards a next flight. Nothing. The money just went POOF! Just like the flight we were supposed to be on that had already landed in Reykjavik earlier that morning.
So we had to decide. We were already on the bus to the airport. The people at the airport would tell us the same thing.
We had to just go for it. Stratton stayed strong. He asked me when we will have the chance to do this again. We know things are going to be different when the baby comes. Even though we will still travel, we won’t be able to couchsurf and go to bars late at night to socialize and meet people (don’t worry, I order hot chocolate and not the kind with Bailey’s in it). He asked me if I believed in us, if I knew we could do it, if I knew we could travel, live our dreams, continue to build our business, support ourselves and live the life that we want. Did I believe?
Heck yes, I believed.
Here I am, writing this blog post at a Dunkin Donuts in downtown Reykjavik (yes, they have Dunkin Donuts here, and no it wasn’t our first choice, we were at a library but it closed at 7pm). But we are here.
And we’re doing it.
What dreams do you have? And what fears pop up when you think about them? Comment below!